Virgil and Beth headed up to a beautiful cabin the woods, in hopes to find it was nothing more than a ramshackle cabin with peeling paint, creaking floorboards, no, a romantic getaway. There was one single thing that could be more romantic, but being a horror nerd, it kept that idea in the dark recesses of her brain.
He pulled off at the little general store, Hillbilly’s General Store, to pick up last minute things like; “Beer!” cheered Beth hopping out of his van, the day was frosty but it had remained clear. Her shoes made crunching sounds on the ice-crusted ground as she waited for Virgil. “We can not forget the beer, capisci? And condoms. Cannot forget condoms.”
Virgil chuckled at his girlfriend’s words. He was no longer a young man but nowhere near an old man. “I thought you were smarter than that,” he said, following her into the general store, which was not much warmer than the snowy wonderland they had just come out of. A flurry of white frost nipped at their ankles. “I mean, you’ve seen plenty of horror films and we aren’t married…wouldn’t condoms lead to premarital sex? And wouldn’t premarital sex lead to some slasher ripping our heads off?”
“Wow….you were a buzz kill with horror movies,” said Beth. Beth was just the tiniest bit psychotic when it came to horror movies and especially her massive collection. Snow swirled at her booted ankles as the two climbed up the few stairs.
“Hey, I’m just pointing out what your favorite movies teach,” said Virgil, he glanced out the window behind the counter, at the fresh fallen snow that lay there, the snow that had been dazzling a few miles back, when the sky had stayed blue, but now the world was white with some gray. “But I’d never turn down sex. So, where would the condoms be in a place like this?”
Beth shrugged. “I dunno, last general store I went into, I had a girlfriend, not a real priority condoms,” she said with a wicked grin. “Why don’t you ask?” Beth peered around Virgil and up at the counter where an older man sat. “Why don’t you ask him for a three-way?”
“Ew, no!” said Virgil. He knew such exotic ideas such as a three-way with that old coot had a tendency to fade away like a transient fever. Virgil watched as Beth started to grab a six pack of Blue Moon. “That guy is ancient!”
The old man was hot, hotter than the hinges of hell! “That’s you in ten years, twenty years tops,” said Beth. “Which is a total compliment, I mean he is just sizzling hot! That sexy silver hair and facial hair. Damn.” Beth was willing to bet he smelled of beer, sweat, Brut and maybe his (late?) wife’s Wal-Mart perfume.
But still, he went up to ask the man where the condoms were kept as she went and got snacks, beer, and cola. Virgil did not drink alcohol but he drank cola and lots of it. Beth enjoyed cola but if there were Blue Moon, she would rather have that. She never drank enough to get tipsy.
The man simply smiled at him; a look of knowing on his face, had he heard? He placed a box of lubricated condoms on the counter, as the wind off the mountains cut through the store, and it was cold, but he knew Beth liked it, the way it rippled her clothing and combed back her ginger hair. “What brings y’all up here?” asked the man.
A back door behind the counter had opened and out came a male holding a box of beers, flurries nipping at his ankles as well. His eyes were a dark urine color. “Whatever the reason, he wants to be prepared,” said the male. “Nothin’ to do up here besides eat, fuck, and sleep.”
The older man glared at the younger man before getting Beth’s attention with a wave of a liver spotted hand. “I’m sorry, miss,” he said. “Ignore Gus, he’s new and my nephew.”
She laughed it off. Fuck was not the worst word she had heard in her twenty-three years, not even close. “Is that the pretty little thing you hope to screw up in some rinky dink cabin?” asked Gus to Virgil. “Man, you are horrible at foreplay.”
Beth wiggled between the two men. “He’s actually awesome at it,” she said, grabbing a lollipop, popping it in her mouth and dropping the quarter down on the counter. “I love the snow, I love cabins and I’m pretty sure he might be asking me a question.”
Virgil looked down at her. “Do you want me to grab you another beer?” he asked. Beth rolled her eyes. “Do you want me to cook dinner? Do you want to shower with me?”
She shook her head, men couldn’t be this stupid, could they? Holy mother of God and all her wacky nephews! “I’ll be outside, Virgil, getting some photos,” said Beth. “And the question has to do with a ring.”
She made her way to the door and Virgil asked, “Want me to wear a cock ring?” as she exited the store. Beth popped her hand back into the door, her middle finger pointed up at the heavens. He laughed.
“So are you going to pop the question?” asked the old man as he started to ring up the items. He liked seeing young couples do something positive with their love, there was too much cheating in the world if you asked him.
Virgil took a ring box out from his pocket and smiled. “She’s going to say no,” said Gus. Virgil and the old man looked at him. “You’re like eighty and she’s like eighteen. You’ve got to be rich or she’s just dumb.”
“Gus! Go stock the shelves or some shit like that,” barked the old man. He turned back to Virgil and apologized repeatedly, not paying attention to the fact that Gus had slipped out of the front door.
Beth was crouched in the snow, camera aimed at the photo of the icy road a few feet away. A sudden squeeze on her shoulder made her camera drop in the icy snow beneath her.
Beth turned to see it was Gus, his fly was unzipped and his penis was out of his pants. She gasped at the sight. “Warm me up,” he said. Gus cocked his head back at the store. “Before you go down on that old timer in there, remember how a young cock tastes.”
Beth barred her teeth and grabbed her camera, placing it back into her purse. He grabbed her by the hair and jerked her face to his crotch but instead of him feeling the warmth of her mouth or even the warm pain of her teeth around his cock, he felt a hot pain on his foot. Gus looked down and screamed, she had plunged a knife into his boot and into his foot, the snow around the boot was growing red, like a strawberry snow cone.
He limped his way up the stairs as Virgil came out of the store, eyeing the whole scene, the bloody snow and the injured Gus but Gus rammed him against the support of the store, groceries spilling onto the porch. He had Virgil pinned by his shirt collar. “You’re dead, man!” he growled. “You and your bitch!”